My Forever First Love.

it's been one hundred days since he was gone.

this morning one of my native lecturer asked me to write an imaginary story -which of course should be written with grammatically right- imagining if I were lost in an island in the middle of nowhere, with whom I  wanna spend my days with.

my tears let itself to fall from the corner of my eyes while I was doing this task. I could say that you are the one whom I wanna spend my days with, Dad. wherever it is. even it is only a day, or a week, a month, a year or I never wanna be found again. I wanna spend more days with you. although I have to stuck and trapped in the middle of a scary forest which full of clown. I am afraid of clown, but I am afraid of losing you, much more.

I always feel save every time I was with you. but now I've lost you and our time to spend with. I wanna feel loved by the way you randomly kiss my cheek again. lately, I realized that I've missed all chance to tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me cause every second time I had the chance, I always said that I only love your money, but I am sure you know that I love you more than anything in this wicked world. they say that sometimes we never know the true value of moment until it become a memory, and indeed.

I broke my heart to lose you, so you didn't go alone cause a part of me went with you. if only I could built a stairway, of course I would. I'd walk my way to heaven and bring you back again so I could spend more time with you. I love you in live. and in death, I love you still. you should have known that you still hold a place in my heart which no one could ever fill. you'll always be my forever first love, Paps. 

            be patiently wait Pa, I'm now on my way to pick you up and bring you back. I miss you. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you said "cmon babe it'd be alright"

I must've been fool to the bitter end

now I'll hold on to hope to have you back again

I'd bargain and I'd fight

but there's another world you living in, tonight (here with me - the Killers)